When I got divorced, I lost custody of my dog Tiger. With apologies to Miley, Tiger was the best dog I’ve ever owned. He was very mild mannered and I could walk him pretty much anywhere without a leash. When we picked him out at the shelter, he was the only dog not barking his head off at us. He sat in the back of the cage with a “What the hell do you want? You’re not going to pick me.” look on his face.
Because of this look, we decided to take him out for a walk. Even in a light rain, he immediately laid down on the ground and asked for us to scratch his belly. At that moment, we knew we were going home with him. He knew how to sell us and his plan worked to perfection.
When I was planning my cross-country drive, I made arrangements with my ex-wife to grab Tiger for an afternoon. My plan was to take him to the same park we always went to. It was Harbin Park, the park right near my mother’s old house. Even after all her hard work in getting rid of that house (and cleaning it, preparing it for sale – all by herself), we would still take him there for walks. After all, it was his park no matter where we lived.
I picked him up yesterday and of course he recognized me. He was really happy to see me and whimpered more than usual. As I walked him to the car, I noticed that the old boy didn’t move as well has he used to. Twelve years and a case of arthritis had caused my once quick and nimble puppy to become an old and slow dog. His spirit remains, but his aged body just can’t keep up with his will anymore. He even struggled to get into my car.
When we arrived at the park, he knew exactly where we were going. He headed for the familiar clearing in the bushes where we had walked many times before. He knew the route, but his age and the humidity slowed his pace. Noticing his struggle, I directed him over to a shady area under a big tree.
Under that tree is where we had our final walk. He used to rule that park and I’d get worn out chasing him all over the place. Yesterday, he was content just to sit there while I petted him and caught him up on everything going on in my life. A few people walked by and Tiger didn’t seem interested in them at all. He was happy just to be sitting in the shade with his ex-owner.
Just like always, Tiger was sure to roll over on to his back and ask for a belly rub. It was the same move he pulled over eleven years ago and once again it worked. It was tough leaving him because I knew it was probably the last time I would ever see him.
Tiger, I’m sorry to have broken up our home. Even your current owner would admit that I did it the “right” way, which is very important to me. I hope you know that it was the best thing for everyone involved.
I’m really looking forward to the weekend. I hope your wedding day is everything you had hoped for and more.
Today’s blog entry will be delivered in “best man toast” form tomorrow at the reception.
But before that, I’d like to repost what I wrote for my friends Josh and Gemma before their wedding:
Your wedding day is going to fly by. All of your efforts, worry, and planning will be over in what seems like an instant. All of your friends, family and loved ones will be in that room with you. Their mere presence is an expression of love, the best expression of love one can give on a wedding day. Some of those folks are traversing the country to deliver those expressions and share in your special day.
During your wedding day, be sure to take a few moments every now and again to “stop and look around once in a while.”
Take mental snapshots as the day goes by. Remember their faces, they will all beam at you. Remember their words, compliments and advice. Save said snapshots for a rainy day, when the rigors and rough roads of married life get you down. Those snapshots will be invaluable on those inevitable days.
I couldn’t be happier for you guys and wish you nothing but a lifetime of love and happiness together.
Yesterday morning, I woke to my buzzing phone. It was an email from Phil who said he hoped that the result of the Patriots game didn’t cause a total shutdown of Truth About Mike. Actually, it is just the opposite. By the end of the week, you’ll probably be sick of reading about all the things that happened this past weekend.
As you may or may not know, I was in Vegas. I went with my brother and also happened to meet up with my cousin NEIL and my other cousin Jo from Toronto. We all had a tremendous time.
It was a very good weekend, sportswise:
The Buckeyes won and earned a trip to their first Rose Bowl since I was in college. The Bengals went into the house of the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers and practically clinched the division title. Lastly, Manny Pacquiao became the first boxer in the history of the sport to win seven different world championships in seven different weight classes (more on Pac in a few days).
It certainly wasn’t all good on the sports front, however. Boston teams went 0-4. Paul Piece hurt his ankle Friday night and the Celtics lost back-to-back games. The Bruins lost in heartbeaking fashion to the Penguins and as for the Patriots: well, let’s just say it wasn’t Bill Belichick’s finest hour (more on this in my next entry).
Furthermore, I lost probably the worst thing a social media geek could lose. I lost my iPhone. I’m pretty sure I left it in one of the 8,500 cabs that work the Las Vegas streets. I feel so lost without the damn thing: every phone number, text, tweet, email, email address, appointments in the calendar, Billy Joel mp3’s, my favorite pictures, all of my notes about everything – gone. I put everything in there and stupidly haven’t backed it up in forever.
Even with the horrible Patriots loss and the horrible loss of all that data, it was the perfect weekend. It wasn’t the perfect weekend because of the gambling, the good food, the trademark energy on the strip, the free drinks in the casinos, not the naked women in the strip clubs (never went to one), not the hooker camped out at the elevators at the Flamingo (”need a date, honey?“), not the result of the games or the winning bets, not the fact that we were in Las Vegas and certainly not the fact that I lost my phone.
It was the perfect weekend because we were all together. It wasn’t the what that was going on around us but the who we were able to spend it with. Even though it was the worst regular season loss in my 36 year history of being a Patriots fan, it was a good, check that, great, time because I got to watch it with my favorite (ok, only) brother in my favorite casino (Venetian).
Every time I get together for drinks with my friend Emily, we always have a tough time deciding where to go. We’re both indecisive. She always asks me and I must sound like a broken record because I give her the same response every time:
It doesn’t matter where, I’m all about the who.
Even though we were in one of my favorite places on the planet, put the four of us in places like East St. Louis Illinois, Gary Indiana, or heaven forbid even Cleveland Ohio and we would have had a good time.
Saturday, I was in Napanoch, NY. Napanoch is a sleepy town nestled in the middle of the Catskill Mountains. It is the type of place where you pump before you pay and not vice versa. Even though I hadn’t been back there in about ten years, not much has changed; It was almost exactly as I remember it. Interestingly enough, Napanoch is the same town where Plaxico Burress is being jailed.
The reason I was there was to attend a memorial mass for my uncle who passed away in April. Growing up, my family made many trips to Napanoch for family visits. It is a place that was part of my childhood and I’ve spent many hours in the car making the Napanoch to Pleasantville drive, and vice versa.
During the final stretch of the drive, I was amazed at how many memories came rushing back into my head. As a young boy, I would see the signs for towns like Kerhonkson and Wawarsing and I’d know that the journey was almost over. Back then, the 3.5 hour drive felt like an eternity.
Each of the senses was affected during my visit: The sight of the mountains off in the distance, the smell of the church I hadn’t been in for over twenty-five years, the feel of the couches in my aunt’s basement and the sound of the river that runs under Route 209. All familiar in their own ways and all the same. Everything old was new again.
Being back there also made me realize how much has changed in my life since I was there last. There have been new arrivals and departures within the circle of people I hold close. Napanoch also has undergone some changes of its own. The Grand Union market is now a Stewart’s and the sign outside the Twist King while still there, is old and faded.
It’s funny how familiar places can rekindle suppressed emotions and memories. The amount of time that passes between visits doesn’t matter at all. These places remind us not only where we have been, but also help us remember who we are, and how we got there.
I guess I won’t be heading to Neverland Ranch for the big viewing after all. Oh well.
In my last entry, I promised I’d explain how my vacation got extended from one week to 17 days. After thinking about it, I realized that it wasn’t that interesting. But since people have been asking, here’s a feeble attempt at the cliff note version:
On my (planned) last day in California, I visited with some relatives from my father’s side of the family. If you’ve been following along, you know that since my parents’ divorce I haven’t really talked to him. However, I did want to make a point to reach out and at least see my uncles, cousins and 92 year-old (last remaining) grandmother out in LA. My grandmother had just gotten out of the hospital and I hadn’t seen her in like five years.
After getting together with them, I realized that I really haven’t spent that much time with my father’s side of the family at all. They live out on the west coast, while most of my Mom’s side of the family lives on the east coast. Even though my father is someone I really don’t want to talk to right now, the other side is still family. It was really great to hang out with my aunts, uncles, and especially my cousins Andrew and Gail.
While visiting with my Lola, I realized that I have been a terrible grandson. She is bed-ridden, can barely talk and I’m not even sure if she recognized me. Massive amounts of guilt overtook me. I thought of all the years I’ve wasted in not coming out to see her. I like to think of myself as someone who highly values family, yet I’m pretty much a stranger to my father’s side. Per usual, I’m full of sh*t.
Anyways, my uncles convinced me to spend another week out in California. Knowing I was unemployed, they reasoned that I didn’t have any reason to go back so soon. They offered to pickup my flight back and my Uncle Greg even offered to let me tag along on his trip to Vegas last weekend. Their offer was too good to refuse and in retrospect, I’m really glad I took them up on it.
The flight they got me is what is called a “buddy pass” on United Airlines. My aunt used to work for United, and part of her retirement package is that she gets 20 of these passes per year. They are free flights, but the only problem is they are standby flights. When it came time to leave on Tuesday, the flight(s) I was planning to take were full. I found out on Monday that I had to wait a few more days before I could take another flight home. I looked for flights on other airlines, but because it was a holiday week the prices were outrageous. I decided to stay in California for a little while longer and headed back to Vegas to kill a few days.
So there you have it.
In the end, this will end up being a 17 day vacation with stops in Los Angeles, Orange County, San Francisco and seven (!) total days in Las Vegas. Aside from my honeymoon in Hawaii, this was my best vacation ever. I got to reconnect with my father’s side of the family and spent a ton of time in Vegas, one of my favorite places. I also picked the perfect time to leave Boston because of the monsoon that has hit the area. Next week, I’ll break down the vacation in more detail. For now, I’ll tell you that after a week of heavy gambling in Las Vegas, I ended up dead even. A win in my book.
This is my last entry from the west coast. Time will surely tell if there are more to come in the future.
Happy Fourth of July, everyone! I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend!
A co-worker of mine gave me a Cuban Cohiba cigar. Last night, I smoked a cigar out in my screened in porch. I always love sitting out there (especially in the rain) in the dark. It is a good place to reflect on what is going on away from the sounds that permeate our every day existence. I don’t know if it was the illegal tobacco or the side of Guinness, but out there a moment of realization and clarity overtook me.
I realized that I’m so fortunate to have such a large, close family. For a long while, I took it for granted. I just figured everyone’s family was the same way. As I grew older, however, I began to hear stories about other families and quickly learned that my family is the exception, not the norm. Even though we are spread all across the continent, our bonds are stronger or as strong as any family I’ve seen. If I could log all the miles people in my family traveled to be together, I think it would rival any family around.
About ten years ago, my cousins and I started a family tradition at weddings. I don’t know how it started, I guess it just happened. We end every wedding be getting in a circle around the bride and groom as the Aerosmith song, “Don’t Want to Miss A Thing” plays. It is something I look forward to during every family wedding. We dance around and sing along and look into each other’s eyes one last time before our paths diverge.
don’t want to miss one smile,
i don’t want to miss one kiss,
i just want to be with you right here with you,
just like this, i just want to hold you close,
and feel your heart so close to mine,
and just stay here in this moment,
for all of the rest of time
i don’t want to close my eyes, i don’t want to fall asleep
cause i miss you baby, and i don’t want to miss a thing
Your family is who you spend your most important days with: the happy days, the sad days, the days of achievement, the days of loss, the holidays, the weddings, the births and the deaths. It is those crucial days that define your life. It is those people that define you. Being with those people on those days during those moments, help shape the foundation of your existence. The very best part about my family is there is an inverse proportion between the miles that separate us and the bonds that exist between us.
It really is special and I wouldn’t trade my family for any other.
Have a great Easter weekend, everyone! Make the most of every day.
Before it gets too late, I wanted to give a quick mention of my cousin Mel’s (lower right) dance company, Rainbow Tribe. I’ve also added their site to my links on the right hand side of the page. Her husband Henry (Kid Spin) is also a member of the Tribe. They actually met there!
Their annual show “Driven” is in a few weeks. I think I’ve attended like 8-9 Rainbow Tribe shows over the years. I first started going to support Mel. I’m not really into dance, but now it is something I look forward to every year. This year is a special one because it is the last show Mel will do before she hatches her first child in late July.
The best part about these shows is watching the passion that each Tribe member displays during these performances. They truly put everything they have into it and it is really something to see. For me, these shows have become a tangible representation of what life is all about: Finding your passion (or what moves you) and spending as much time as you can immersing yourself in said passion.
More than likely, I’m headed to the early (2pm) show on Saturday 3/21. It would really, really mean a lot to me if someone went to “Driven” after reading about it here.
So…
If you’re looking for something different and interesting to do that weekend, I highly recommend it.
Today is also my cousin Leslie’s husband Dave’s birthday.
Dave is unlike anyone I have ever met.He can light up a room with his effusive personality, sparkling demeanor and is great with kids. When you hear/see his infectious laugh, you can’t help but laugh yourself.
Furthermore, he one of the most passionate people I’ve ever met. He is loyal, loves life, sports and everyone he is close to.He’ll talk to anyone and will be laughing with that person like they were long lost buddies within minutes. It never surprises me to see him laughing and joking with his arm around someone he just met or holding court at a poker table full of strangers.I wish I knew him before he started dating my cousin, because as my wingman, we could have done some serious work in bars around town.
We call him DEVID because one time at Foxwoods, the woman behind the counter at El Pollo Loco messed up his name on his order and it totally stuck.Last spring, at his bachelor party I was talking to his father (the Beachman).The Beachman wouldn’t stop talking to me about his son’s basketball skills (“Michael, you should have seen David play. Mannnn, he was good.”).I wrote it off as the Bud Lights talking or your typical “proud father” talk.Either way, you could practically feel the pride oozing out of the Beachman’s pores as he waxed poetic about his son.It was even more intoxicating than those cheap domestics we had been drowning ourselves with all night.
A few weeks ago, I decided to check out this hoop prowess for myself.Devid plays in a basketball league on Wednesday nights downtown at Basketball City.The Beachman was right. The Kid can flat out ball.He was the best player on the floor and lead his team in scoring while hitting his first three shots (all three pointers).He was active, vocal, spread the ball like Rondo, and even dropped some sick trash talk after one of guys on the opposing team started with him.
The bond Devid and I have developed became completely apparent to me at that same bachelor party.It might have been those cheap American lagers talking, but (to me) it spoke volumes just the same.We all were sitting around late night and Devid quieted the room and got everyone’s attention. He proceeded to say something that I will never forget (and I will paraphrase because it was a wild night and the details are rather hazy).
He pointed at me and said:
“Out of everybody here, THATis my guy.THAT guy right there.”
I was floored and didn’t know what to say.I was probably the guy that knew Dave the least amount of time out of anyone in the room.Everyone important in his life was there: The Beachman (his father), his brother, his Godfather, future-brother-in-law, close friends and many of his cousins.Out of all those important people (to him), he chose to single me out.
I was honored, humbled and embarrassed all at the same time.
A few weeks ago, I gained a new sister-in-law.Over the past year, I also feel like I’ve gained someone who has become like a brother to me.
Devid:Thanks for all that stuff you said at On the Border. Thanks for putting up with my numerous(!) silly text messages each day. Thanks for always asking me to text you after I get home after a big night out, and sorry for all the cigar ashes I left all over your basement/furniture last Saturday night.
Most of all, thanks for being someone I know I can always count on for the rest of my life. Love you, man.
And now for the antithesis of yesterday’s blog entry….
In what has started out as a bad year (down economy, tons of layoffs, bad winter), we finally have some good news:
1) Congrats to Todd and Karyn who gave birth to their second daughter, Annabelle yesterday.
2) I’m going to be a brother-in-law!!
(again)
Congratulations to John and Courtney who got engaged last night. I honestly couldn’t be happier for you guys and wish you a lifetime of guarding each other’s solitude!
I maybe slightly (ok, completely) biased, but I think Courtney got the best proposal in the history of marriage proposals. It was definitely “better” and original. John told me about it Tuesday and I have been dying to hear how Courtney reacted. You’re going to have to ask them for the details on that one. The wedding is tenatively planned for next summer in Maine.
Lastly, to John, Courtney, family and friends:
Get ready for the mother of all best man toasts.
(You know how I do. It is practically already written.)
Congrats again to my brother and future sister-in-law!
EDITOR’S NOTE: Happy Birthday, Z!